I hate the anticipation of a goodbye. I hate the gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, all consuming fear attached to the moment of not knowing if you’re going to see someone again.

It’s incredible how people can come crashing into our lives. Without expectation, one person can change our entire future and most of the time they don’t even realize the gravity they have on you.

It’s almost crazy how fast we can become friends with someone and trust them with our deepest secrets. Our most sacred thoughts can be gently handed over in a matter of seconds of feeling like the other person understands us. 

This is why I hate goodbyes. We can become so close to someone in just a few days of the right conversations and yet, sometimes a goodbye looms above us with finality and heartbreak. How do we know if we will ever see someone again?

I’ve said a lot of goodbyes. Some fading out like the end of a movie, some shaking me to my core and some that I was never ready for. Goodbye is never easy. Goodbye to the dead is for ourselves to feel closure and remember them in light. Goodbye to someone we once loved in any way both frees and breaks us. Goodbyes to places or things grip our hearts as we flash back to the memories we made there.

I’ve learned that goodbye never gets easier, you just get stronger. Sometimes the last thing you want to do after a goodbye is move forward, even when that’s all you have left. Some goodbyes sting for a few days and some sting for a few years. Some are easier than others.

Maybe it’s caused by a new, daunting distance. Maybe it’s the realization that the chances of ever seeing that person again is slim. Maybe it’s because you are scared.

The most important thing is remembering that people stay in your life for exactly the right amount of time. Whether it’s two weeks or twenty years, if someone has fulfilled their role in your life and you have to say goodbye for whatever reason, let them go.

By clinging to a past filled with what if’s and could of, should of, would of’s we prohibit the life we’re supposed to live from happening. If we could only see that somewhere in the future there is a silver lining, we might find goodbyes a little easier.

Have faith that saying goodbye will only lead to a dozen new hello’s.

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